Sunday 25 May 2014

Thomas leads the curious departures from the Poppies

Well, who, apart from Pedro, saw that coming?

Manager Dean Thomas has departed the club, reported thusly on the official site, "Kettering Town Football Club and Dean Thomas have today reached a mutual agreement for Dean to step down as manager of the first team"

Now, is this football-speak for: - 

"Dean Thomas wanted a bigger playing budget?"
"Dean Thomas didn't want to sign Brett Solkhon?"
"Dean Thomas didn't want to lose Elliot Sandy?"  Or perhaps,

"Ritchie Jeune wanted to appoint an attacking coach a'la West Ham"
"Ritchie Jeune wanted to see less hoofball"
"Ritchie Jeune wanted a manager who wouldn't sing so much"


Career change for Dean?
Hi-de-hi!

Dean's departure does seem comfortingly bizarre, in a typically Poppies way.  Especially when you look at how our last few Managers were appointed and dismissed: -

Marcus Law.  Appointed in the normal way after an interview.  Departed in a shroud of mystery after not speaking to Imraan for several months.

Morrel Maison.  Appointed because he is the only bloke in football who Imraan knows.  Departed when he did the maths about "Project Non Park" and appreciated his own complete lack of ability.

Mark Cooper.  Never really appointed or departed.  Loitered around the ground for a while, amid rumours of takeovers.  Occupied the hotseat for the vital JP testimonial against Spurs, and the usual defeat away to Telford.  Saw the way the wind was blowing and did a runner.

Mark Stimson.  Appointed just as all the players stopped getting paid.  Departed as all the non-paid players drifted away, in favour of non-paid loanees.

Ashley Westwood.  Appointed when he turned up one day and was the first in the door.  Departed when he suffered his 94th sending off and chose to manage in India rather than Irthlingborough.

John Beck.  Appointed by former Cambridge wide-boy George Rolls.  Perhaps as reward for applying for the job on 25 occasions.  Probably departed.  Not entirely sure he isn't still officially involved in some capacity.

Alan Doyle.  Appointed because he lived in the same street as George Rolls.  Departed to a "shirt and tie" position within the club because he suddenly got a team of rag-tag kids and lags to start playing something that approached good football. 

Thomas Baillie.  Appointed because he was already on the team bench and knew the names of the payers.  Departed to the No.2 Spot because Dean Thomas was finally prised from the locked gates at Hinckley United after 120 years at the club.

Dean Thomas.  Appointed after giving as good speech at the 2012-13 end of season bash.  Departed after singing a set of swing classics at the 2013-14 end of season bash.

Thomas Baillie. Appointed because he was already on the team bench and knew the names of the payers......

All very Poppies!


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