Sunday 3 March 2013

Race with the Devil

The news that last Friday's face night raised upwards of £1700 confirmed a few things to me: -

For one, do we need to actually play football games anymore considering we can raise the same amount of money by sitting on our arses, drinking and shouting at horse races that happened several years ago?

At least one race is ruined by the footage starting with the race being won.  Now, this was perhaps understandable in the days of videotape, when the race might not have been rewound, but how the hell does that happen with a DVD?

You still get the "Race-Night-Pro" who will hover until the Tote almost closes so that he can place his bets on the horse which would generate the biggest return for his bet.  Do they not realise that you are supposed to bet on a horse because of its amusing or faintly rude name?  How tedious to win an extra quid betting on the long-odds nag, when you can enjoy shouting out, "Come on Dog's Pizzle!" repeatedly and with gusto!

And, if there's one thing I've learnt from years of Poppies Race Nights, it's this - NEVER BET AGAINST JOHN CECIL'S HORSES!!!

It is uncanny the number of times JC's horses canter in ahead of the pack.  It's almost as if he is a Race Night version of Lester Piggott (minus the tax evasion), or Frankie Dettori (minus the drugs).  I have taken to scouring the race list just to see his initials, and then betting my shirt on that nag, even if it is called "Tomorrow's Dog Meat" or even "Tomorrow's Man Meat".

The only thing which stopped me returning a handsome profit on Friday was the fact that JC had bought a number of horses on the night, meaning his name didn't appear on the race sheet.  This didn't stop him winning race after race though, given the number of visits he made to the winnings table. 

He must have pocketed more envelopes stuffed with cash than all of Harry Redknapp's recent QPR signings put together!

And the title - "Race with the Devil?"  Well, I assume some sort of pact with the Horned One must have been entered into to have such luck.  AND, this is the 666th post on PATGOD!!!  Ooer!

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