Fascinating Facts about Crawley

On the "Knowhere Guide" site (where we nick most of the stuff we use), under the section where people are invited to suggest the best things about a town, the following was the first thing said about Crawley: -

Sexist?  Moi?

"best things hmm stay in a big crowed never go to place where a big group of chavs are you either get bottled or raped"  After this, we decide not to look at the "Worst things about Crawley".

Other than a couple of very minor Big Brother contestants, no one of any note has ever emanated from Crawley.  It is rumoured that Sharron (Blind Cobbler's thumbs) Davies lives, or lived in Crawley.  Either way, it's all the excuse I need to include this photograph!

Crawley boss, Steve Evans is a convicted crook.  So there's no need for us to dance around the niceties of the libel laws when we further describe him as -

An ex-con. 

A lawbreaker. 

A criminal. 

And, of course -he's bent. 

He's also a horrible, round, little screaming jock, which, apparently isn't illegal yet.


Crawley Football Club are either: -

(A) On a short, spectacular journey of wild over-spending which will end in their messy demise,
or, according to the worldwide respected Daily Mail, "A tidy testament to frugality and care"
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-1345561/Crawling-way-Crawley-Town-tidy-testament-frugality-care.html?ITO=1490

There is a malicious rumour circulating that the above piece was penned by a certain Hans Christian Andersen, but this has yet to be confirmed.

Peter Fear left us for Crawley after promotion from the Southern League, citing our lack of ambition.  He may have had something of a point, as we went straight back down and they were promoted the following year. 

Oh, and Peter Fear sounds like Frank Butcher.