Friday 29 January 2010

150th post on PATGOD ONLINE! Irrational Hatreds No.1 - Mascots



What is the point of football mascots? Is their only use to hopefully blindside the non-footballing public into thinking that football is a big, friendly, cuddly game for all the family? Probably.

As far as I can tell, no one within football has any time for them. Children up to the age of 8 recoil in terror from them. Children over 8 gob at them. Adults merely shake their heads with bewilderment what has happened to the game. And then gob at them.

Along with gun crime and crack cocaine, sporting mascots are another unwelcome gift from our former colonies across the Atlantic. Perhaps the Americans need these ridiculous figures to keep sports supporters entertained. This is probably down to the fact that all their sports are shit to watch. Having sat through an entire NY Nicks basketball game (that's 3 1/2 hours I won't get back), until the numbness of my arse matched the numbness of my head, they certainly need something to keep you awake, let alone entertained.

But we don't need such distractions with football. We don't turn up an hour early expecting to be "entertained". Our games don't stop every 5 minutes for advert breaks or mass change of the team. One senses that even the shoddiest passage of play from the poorest game at Rockingham Road (why am I drawn to the Tamworth game?) has more heart-stopping action than a whole season Basketball/Gridiron/Baseball put together!

In recent years we have had at least 2, maybe 3 big fluffy mascots. The current incumbent being "Champ the Lion", who is wheeled out for the odd big game. Champ followed hot on the paw prints of "Rocky Bear". After several years and several sweaty occupants, it is reported that the "Rocky Bear" costume can pretty much stand up on its own.... There may also have been a polar bear costume at the time of our sponsorship by Polar Trucks? I fear, however, that I have simply dreamt that one up! If anyone can confirm or deny the "Polar Bear" please let us know!

"Get away from me youse Freak!!!"





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